This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
