If that was your dad, he is hot
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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