I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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