Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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