weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
