I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
