I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
