Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
