Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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