Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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