I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
