nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
