I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
