Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
