I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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