I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
