Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
