we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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