we're blogging at a bar
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
