i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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