this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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