My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
