you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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