is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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