we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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