Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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