thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
