What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
