Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
