My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
