He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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