ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Come see our sink grown plant.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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