God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just threw up on my dentist
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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