it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
