I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Come see our sink grown plant.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
