perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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