Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
