He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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