...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
