I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
