So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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