she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
