You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh god the rape fog is back!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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