WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
