After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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