Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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