Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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