I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
