I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
