how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
