she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
