This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
